You probably did not imagine ending your marriage when you and your soon-to-be-ex were saying your vows.
Ending a relationship is a painful process, whether you split amicably or endure a long court battle. Either way, ending a relationship is a major life transition. You morph into something new and different. If you have children, you might not see them every day like you used to. You divide your assets. You might sell your marital home and move to a new town. You might resign in your job and get a new one. Your financial stability may suddenly become uncertain. In other words, your future looks radically different all because a relationship has come to an end.
You can expect your pat ahead to lead to a happier life. However, it is totally normal and okay to experience feelings of sadness, anxiety, anger, and depression when you are going through your divorce or ending a relationship.
Here are some ways to get closure once a relationship ends:
1. Take care of yourself first.
The entire divorce process can be a long road with a few bumps along the way. It can be tedious, emotionally draining and sometimes contentious. Your lawyer will ask you take lots of steps, such as gathering documents and evidence. You will talk to probably lots of people just to complete the necessary records. You will have to deal with your ex every once in a while even if you do not really want to. These are some of the reasons why it is just fitting to engage in self-care.
Self-care is a big umbrella and you can engage in whatever works for you. For some, self-care means simply turning their phones off for a couple of hours while getting a massage or a warm bath. For others, self-care means going to the gym during their free time. Some others try a new hobby like painting, cooking, baking, and even enrolling in classes that would boost their skills.
2. Meet new people.
If you are still in contact with your ex, you may want to cut it off and take some emotional distance from the split.
Though you need not trade your old friends, building a new social group can help you regenerate after the break up. This may be a good move especially if you and your ex share the same old group of friends. You can build a new social group by seeking out a new recreation like getting a new gym membership, joining a sports club, etc.
3. Focus on the positives.
Focus on the positive things around you and don’t mind the negativities. You can do this by making a list of your talents, gifts, and assets. Surround yourself with positive people who knows you and believes in you and will encourage and support you to attain the closure you need.
Shift the emphasis to what makes you happy. Do not mind about what others may think because what matters is how you go on after a relationship ends. Be powerful in your thoughts and affirm that you are able to do something about you now.
Take plenty of time to grieve the loss of the relationship. There is really no exact amount of time to do this and there is no set way—it’s just really up to you. You need to find a way to grieve because if you don’t then closure may never come. However, grieving should not go on for years. That is just being stuck because it means being heavily invested in the past.
Incomplete grief may only contribute to make poor decisions later in life. If you can’t get closure, there will always be “unfinished business”. Process your emotions so you can fully heal.
5. Seek professional help
Your mental health matters. Seeking professional help is a healthy and proactive part of the divorce recovery process. In fact, taking care of your mental health is an inevitable step in the road to closure.
If you have tried various ways to get the closure you need but they still didn’t work, maybe it is time for you to seek professional health. You need someone objective, who can help you stay focused on what is best for your future, as well as the future of your children, if you have them.
There is a stigma surrounding asking the assistance of a mental health professional. Truth be told, the discourse of mental help-seeking is gendered due to the masculine ideal that a man is intolerant to pain. This is definitely not true. Many men also go through stress, especially during divorce or when ending a relationship. During these stressful times, men may create an environment that is prone to low self-esteem and poor mental health which can lead to depression.
In order to overcome or avoid the depressive state, you must take an active role of taking care of your mental health which includes seeking professional health.
Cliché as it may sound, every ending represents a new beginning. You have the opportunity ahead of you to rebuild your life to create something new and even unknown to you. By taking care of yourself, meeting new people, seeking professional health, you allow yourself the opportunity to get the closure you need from your past relationship.
Contact an experienced Family Lawyer who understands the unique situation you are in and the challenges that men go through during the divorce process. Virginia Divorce Attorney Tori Bramble can represent your interests during the legal portion of this experience. Contact us today at (540) 628-7340 to schedule a consultation. You may also send an email at email@example.com or visit our website at www.bramblelawfirm.com.